Being securely attached in relationships means that your nervous system can handle conflict or relationship differences more easily.
Of course this doesn’t mean people with a secure attachment style don’t have relationship problems. They make mistakes and fail to manage conflict just like anyone else!
Do you ever have times in your life when you don’t know what to do?
In my therapy office I hear people struggling with all kinds of problems.
Often, they feel pulled in different directions.
It might be the desire to start a business but unsure if they can tolerate a possible failure.
Perhaps doing what is best for them isn’t what’s best for a family member.
Sometimes it looks like ending a relationship that isn’t working anymore while fearing grief that may come with the loss.
The developmental psychologist Emmy Werner wanted to understand the significance of difficult childhood experiences on adult functioning. She studied this question by following a group of children over 30 years.
Here is what she found:
Adverse childhood events (ACE) impact the trajectory of well-being in adulthood.
It’s really normal to wonder what other people think about you.
I’ve heard clients say things like, “I have an opinion but I’m afraid of their reaction”, “it’s easier to say nothing because then I won’t say the wrong thing”, or “I’m so busy stressing about what to say that the moment passes and my comment isn’t relevant anymore”.
