Are you a lie invitee?
It can be helpful to ask yourself what it might be like to be in relationship to you.
How do you react to disagreement or differences of opinion?
Sometimes in new relationships, either friendships or in dating, we can react to differences of opinion by silencing ourselves, fighting, or getting into a debate me mode.
I hear a lot of clients tell me they find themselves people pleasing and wanting to impress others. This reaction makes sense - we want to get along - yet it can feel dishonest if what we are silently going along with clashes with our values.
On the other hand, if you freak out or get into your strong opinions, you’ll be less likely to get honesty from the other person.
If you want honesty, encourage it by creating space for difference.
Being warm, kind, and curious when disagreements come up is a strategic choice.
A big reaction or shut down will makes it less likely you’ll get honesty from the other person.
It isn’t about giving up your viewpoint, it’s about staying with the conversation and encouraging greater depth.
Curiosity goes a long way to increasing your understanding of their perspective.