When people recognize they need to work on their stuff , it can often start with needing to build self-trust.
What does that look like?
Stay present to your emotional experience.
This means noticing and naming your feelings, and staying with them long enough to get the message those feelings are trying to convey.
Think of your emotions as a friend coming to the door of your home with an urgent message.
Can you identify who that friend is? Is it Mike or Mark, anger or sadness?
How about welcoming them in and asking what the message is? What does this emotion tell you about what you need or what is important to you?
2. Offer yourself compassion.
What do you usually do when you are triggered or when things fall apart?
Many clients revert to harsh patterns they experienced growing up. They might criticize themselves or lash out at others.
Perhaps you can imagine a nurturing parent, and what they might offer instead.
Everyone suffers at times, stay present and kind toward yourself. You are not alone. Place a hand on your heart and remind yourself that other people feel just as you do at times.
3. Make promises to yourself and keep them.
Is there something small you could change that would improve your life?
For example, could you limit screen time at meals to help you be more present with your body and appetite (and perhaps the people who are eating with you!).
Or would your anxious brain benefit from a 10 minute daily guided meditation practice?
Commit to a small but significant change for 30 days to build trust in yourself.
4. Say no when you need to say no.
Start tuning in to the feeling of resentment.
It’s a big red flag that your boundaries are being crossed.
It takes work to identify those boundaries. And even more work to respect them.
Doing this work builds self-trust because saying no to what you don’t want makes room for yes.
5. Be honest in your relationships.
Guilt shows up when you’ve done something wrong.
It’s an important emotion that helps us adjust direction or change.
If you are perpetually being dishonest, guilt will muddy the waters.
It makes it difficult to tune into your wants and needs.
The work of healing is done on a bedrock of self-trust.
If you need support making changes stick, I am happy to work alongside you.