It’s really normal to wonder what other people think about you.

I’ve heard clients say things like, “I have an opinion but I’m afraid of their reaction”, “it’s easier to say nothing because then I won’t say the wrong thing”, or “I’m so busy stressing about what to say that the moment passes and my comment isn’t relevant anymore”.

It can be a good idea to pay attention to other people’s reactions to you.

Humans are social creatures - we thrive in connection with others.

How we interact in groups can determine whether we will be welcomed or shunned from groups.

So as you consider your impact in relationship to others, it can be helpful to reflect on your behaviour.

For example, are you someone who needs time to process what you’re hearing before adding to a discussion?

When someone interrupts you, do you shut down or forget what you were saying?

Or do you say nothing; afraid that you might say the ‘wrong’ thing?

Do you expect others to carry the conversation?

Maybe you are really comfortable with silence, or you have low curiosity about others.

Sometimes we’ve learned to silence our voice based on how things were in our families growing up.

Perhaps you had uncomfortable experiences where people overreacted to what you said, so you learned to keep quiet.

Did your opinion matter?

Was your perspective welcomed?

These questions are meant to peak some curiosity in yourself.

Here are 6 important considerations:

1. Take some time to reflect. You first need to know where you are before deciding to move in another direction.

2. Your natural response to others may have helped you in the past (like dealing with a very reactive sibling or parent), but no longer serves you in the present.

3. Like all forms of anxiety, social anxiety will pressure you to stay quiet, stay safe, and keep your life small. The more you avoid anxiety, the bigger the fear gets.

4. It takes courage, and the fear will start to diminish each time you speak up.

Is there an amount that feels like one step toward the way you want to be?

For example, challenge yourself to increase your curiosity about others (imagine you’re a reporter on a great story).

5. Remind yourself that the best version of you is the real version (not a fake one that doesn’t make any mistakes and only says the right things all the time).

6. Keep practicing and challenging yourself!

If you want support in navigating this issue, I am happy to work alongside you.